BLACK GIRL, SOMETHING FLOWER

It was the same Hollow Eve's night party that I was crowned the best dancer 

and then told that the devil is a black man. 

And although I did not know my own father, I knew that the devil could not be a black man. 

I grew up with "the bluest eye" so vivid in my soul, that I thought I heard someone 

say the same thing I was thinking, 

That I wondered who could of been watching parts of my life and yet didn't save me? 

Because they only gave me, 

Pity

"Yes, I'm cute " pg. 73

So, light skin waves her hands and she says

"let me be the one to hail the cab for you, because they won't stop for you". 

And yes, I too am utterly confused, 

being told and abused 

That I'm not good for you MAN, nor you WO-MAN

unless you were dark than me or as me. 

Because I was naturally born with a message that goes like this,

 surah 64 Aya (verse) 3 

" He has created the heavens and the earth in just proportions, and has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful: and to Him is the final Goal."

"and to Him is the final Goal."

Is the part that I didn't get until after maturity

And so continuing on you see, 

the racist did not first appear after puberty,

but a long while ago with a family 

whose remarks reflected on my self esteem.

It then carried through a classroom filled with children whose lineages were supposed to be 

BLACK , a cousin you could say,  and my best friend and I were the only ones, 

Whose hair was not long enough according to the teacher's given survey.

Yes and so then the South Asians, the Caribbean had their turn before the Eastern 

Europeans  and even before

"The Main One" would say to go be with my own people.

Hello? Didn't she hear the story of where this began? 

And so like a book, racism isn't the only chapter. 

There's also immigration and religion and being female is the first while they all 

followed after. 

You BEAUTIFUL, some sort of a flower you. 

Trampled petals holding on to the strength of your stem. 

If fallen then gently, will they fall.

Bookmarking your page to tell the story of the strange in range to inspire change. 

Because you are the new, the old, the ALWAYS beautiful, you,

Black girl, something flower- you.

LETGO

Today, my arm is stretched solely due to my will through his will. 

Fingers, extend

Releasing, the nothing that was held 

For, so long now, fearing what could of been...

Lost, and it was nothing

What, could of, should of, would of been, afraid of 

Is, the nothing

that would stop me from walking towards my inevitable if my  

inevitable death did not come towards me. 

Because, I am the one stretching my arms towards IT

Fingers, extend

I, fall back in my pool of blood

That, is paint, words and a world 

She, always wanted to live in 

Now, can release in

Breathe in 

And know that 

Arm, is stretched

Fingers, extend

There is nothing amended

Only choices to descend in 

ALI 'IMRAN AYA 154

Then after distress, He sent down serenity in the form of drowsiness overcoming some of you, while others were disturbed by evil thoughts about Allah—the thoughts of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance. They ask, “Do we have a say in the matter?” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “All matters are destined by Allah.” They conceal in their hearts what they do not reveal to you. They say ˹to themselves˺, “If we had any say in the matter, none of us would have come to die here.” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Even if you were to remain in your homes, those among you who were destined to be killed would have met the same fate.” Through this, Allah tests what is within you and purifies what is in your hearts. And Allah knows best what is ˹hidden˺ in the heart.

AYA 156

O believers! Do not be like the unfaithful1 who say about their brothers who travel throughout the land or engage in battle, “If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed.” Allah makes such thinking a cause of agony in their hearts. It is Allah who gives life and causes death. And Allah is All-Seeing of what you do.