"$elf truth"

 Can we talk about toxicity of "self truth"? 

It's Soo hyped and has such a slippery pedstestal for delusion and can be as extreme as what got us there in the first place.. or was that even just imagined?

 Is it just a nick name for another groups beliefe thus minimizing the "self" in truth. Or does it scream selfish for times where community can't afford to be selfish? 

I don't know if I believe a truth that already existed centuries before our time classified almost as discovery now. 

Certainly there is already a higher being or bigger subject that has already created your so called discovery .

As of "self discovery", hmm maybe 

 

One of the most hated type of woman on earth is the woman who covers. The woman who chooses to wear the burqah, Niqab or hijab.

Because she chooses to cover her skin and to have a religious opinion she is seen as extreme. Think about that. The very thing women had fought for. A choice.

She is seen as someone who's rights should be taken away by those very nations who say they stand for liberty and justice for all. The very nations who celebrate women history month do not speak up about injustice to these women that is growing and consistently taking place among their ally nations. That then turn into harassment, abuse, violence and the force of imprisonment and concentration camps.

In colonial times to breakdown the home of a society, is to break down and take control of the nation. Our women are the home. What a cowardly move by men.

Ignorance is not bliss. It only breeds fear. It is fear that must be fought. Fear is the enemy , not innocent lives. To understand what you fear is to be stronger so that you do not fear it anymore. I mean like, truly understand.

#womenhistorymonth

BLACK GIRL, SOMETHING FLOWER

It was the same Hollow Eve's night party that I was crowned the best dancer 

and then told that the devil is a black man. 

And although I did not know my own father, I knew that the devil could not be a black man. 

I grew up with "the bluest eye" so vivid in my soul, that I thought I heard someone 

say the same thing I was thinking, 

That I wondered who could of been watching parts of my life and yet didn't save me? 

Because they only gave me, 

Pity

"Yes, I'm cute " pg. 73

So, light skin waves her hands and she says

"let me be the one to hail the cab for you, because they won't stop for you". 

And yes, I too am utterly confused, 

being told and abused 

That I'm not good for you MAN, nor you WO-MAN

unless you were dark than me or as me. 

Because I was naturally born with a message that goes like this,

 surah 64 Aya (verse) 3 

" He has created the heavens and the earth in just proportions, and has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful: and to Him is the final Goal."

"and to Him is the final Goal."

Is the part that I didn't get until after maturity

And so continuing on you see, 

the racist did not first appear after puberty,

but a long while ago with a family 

whose remarks reflected on my self esteem.

It then carried through a classroom filled with children whose lineages were supposed to be 

BLACK , a cousin you could say,  and my best friend and I were the only ones, 

Whose hair was not long enough according to the teacher's given survey.

Yes and so then the South Asians, the Caribbean had their turn before the Eastern 

Europeans  and even before

"The Main One" would say to go be with my own people.

Hello? Didn't she hear the story of where this began? 

And so like a book, racism isn't the only chapter. 

There's also immigration and religion and being female is the first while they all 

followed after. 

You BEAUTIFUL, some sort of a flower you. 

Trampled petals holding on to the strength of your stem. 

If fallen then gently, will they fall.

Bookmarking your page to tell the story of the strange in range to inspire change. 

Because you are the new, the old, the ALWAYS beautiful, you,

Black girl, something flower- you.

LETGO

Today, my arm is stretched solely due to my will through his will. 

Fingers, extend

Releasing, the nothing that was held 

For, so long now, fearing what could of been...

Lost, and it was nothing

What, could of, should of, would of been, afraid of 

Is, the nothing

that would stop me from walking towards my inevitable if my  

inevitable death did not come towards me. 

Because, I am the one stretching my arms towards IT

Fingers, extend

I, fall back in my pool of blood

That, is paint, words and a world 

She, always wanted to live in 

Now, can release in

Breathe in 

And know that 

Arm, is stretched

Fingers, extend

There is nothing amended

Only choices to descend in 

ALI 'IMRAN AYA 154

Then after distress, He sent down serenity in the form of drowsiness overcoming some of you, while others were disturbed by evil thoughts about Allah—the thoughts of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance. They ask, “Do we have a say in the matter?” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “All matters are destined by Allah.” They conceal in their hearts what they do not reveal to you. They say ˹to themselves˺, “If we had any say in the matter, none of us would have come to die here.” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Even if you were to remain in your homes, those among you who were destined to be killed would have met the same fate.” Through this, Allah tests what is within you and purifies what is in your hearts. And Allah knows best what is ˹hidden˺ in the heart.

AYA 156

O believers! Do not be like the unfaithful1 who say about their brothers who travel throughout the land or engage in battle, “If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed.” Allah makes such thinking a cause of agony in their hearts. It is Allah who gives life and causes death. And Allah is All-Seeing of what you do.

Lonely

I'd like to sit and examine you. I'd like to take you out for lunch, even if we do not speak, as always. 

I know I'm awkward. I'm just not use to us, you know, like this. I just want to to understand... 

So may I confess and say that being misunderstood makes me feel lonely. And lonely, it's gotten to the point where you make me feel lonely. 

You are those cold nights when I can't seem to reach my blanket. In return, insomnia loves you. 

Lonely, you are the prayer that I'm too embarrassed to talk to God about, let alone anyone. Shh don't say a word. 

And my brain has been refusing to have a conversation about you with my heart. Or maybe it just doesn't understand what on earth is going on. As if yesterday, the dinner reserved for 2 , 3, 4 was just a facade, and now we see empty seats. Or maybe that conversation is better avoided.

You know about artist block? Yea that's you, because you've plagued my supplies. So there's no one else to paint about and definitely no one to share with.

You know those nightmares when I'm crying very loud and nobody can hear me? And they just continue walking? Yea, that's also you lonely and I've dreamt of you way too many times.

You've become clock work where I say "Oh, her too, he too.." yes, it's now the expected routine that people get up and walk away. And Unsurprisingly, from a distance standing there, is you lonely.
And yes "me too" even I want to walk away. 

And ok, so I did. And now I'm back and yet you are still 

standing there. I thought this time around when I said your not real, I'd be right..
but there goes "Knock knock, who's there? " Strength, courage, resilience, persistence, creativity and faith." 

Today, I think I'll let them in and they may fill those empty seats.

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B L A C K

You can't take Excedrin when you only have a stomach ache. You take peptobismol. However you have a medicine cabinet where all the medication goes(All lives Matter), you just take them out at different times when needed( Black Lives Matter). Now the businesses should not feel bad or guilty if the sales go down for Excedrin just because people are not getting headaches.. perhaps they should care for humanity and formulate more towards stomach aches to create balance. The people with stomach aches should not care for these businesses feeling guilty, because that might not make a real difference and all they just want is to get rid of the damn stomach ache. For people to take real action.

I've had this stomach ache since I was born.

Maybe not the same day, maybe not the same week, maybe not the same year.. but it's been a long time coming. It's been the longest memory that I have with me. And my body has only learned to adapt. And my mind has only learned to shut off while the pain persists. 

But how can I explain a stomach ache to someone who has never had one. Some eyes wide open, they refuse to believe it exists . However some with eyes and ears shut will never will never even try...to see it.

Black is the color that Allah gave me. And black did not come with a prescribed stomach ache. 

And when that first strike triggered the start of this hurt , society ignored it's cause. Instead kept on making the wrong medication although seeing how people would clutch their stomachs in pain. 

And till this day generations are born in the same family business for headache prescription. Sometimes they don't even know why they prescribe. They just see it as fit for the stomachs. 

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other.  When a mother is hurting, the fetus can feel. When there is a natural disaster we all can be damaged. And when there is a fire in a building, when inside...we can all feel the burning. 

When the names are called, when the videos are shown, when the people are hurting... 

You can choose to turn away or call it what you like but

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other. 

This at least should be understood.