Lonely

I'd like to sit and examine you. I'd like to take you out for lunch, even if we do not speak, as always. 

I know I'm awkward. I'm just not use to us, you know, like this. I just want to to understand... 

So may I confess and say that being misunderstood makes me feel lonely. And lonely, it's gotten to the point where you make me feel lonely. 

You are those cold nights when I can't seem to reach my blanket. In return, insomnia loves you. 

Lonely, you are the prayer that I'm too embarrassed to talk to God about, let alone anyone. Shh don't say a word. 

And my brain has been refusing to have a conversation about you with my heart. Or maybe it just doesn't understand what on earth is going on. As if yesterday, the dinner reserved for 2 , 3, 4 was just a facade, and now we see empty seats. Or maybe that conversation is better avoided.

You know about artist block? Yea that's you, because you've plagued my supplies. So there's no one else to paint about and definitely no one to share with.

You know those nightmares when I'm crying very loud and nobody can hear me? And they just continue walking? Yea, that's also you lonely and I've dreamt of you way too many times.

You've become clock work where I say "Oh, her too, he too.." yes, it's now the expected routine that people get up and walk away. And Unsurprisingly, from a distance standing there, is you lonely.
And yes "me too" even I want to walk away. 

And ok, so I did. And now I'm back and yet you are still 

standing there. I thought this time around when I said your not real, I'd be right..
but there goes "Knock knock, who's there? " Strength, courage, resilience, persistence, creativity and faith." 

Today, I think I'll let them in and they may fill those empty seats.

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B L A C K

You can't take Excedrin when you only have a stomach ache. You take peptobismol. However you have a medicine cabinet where all the medication goes(All lives Matter), you just take them out at different times when needed( Black Lives Matter). Now the businesses should not feel bad or guilty if the sales go down for Excedrin just because people are not getting headaches.. perhaps they should care for humanity and formulate more towards stomach aches to create balance. The people with stomach aches should not care for these businesses feeling guilty, because that might not make a real difference and all they just want is to get rid of the damn stomach ache. For people to take real action.

I've had this stomach ache since I was born.

Maybe not the same day, maybe not the same week, maybe not the same year.. but it's been a long time coming. It's been the longest memory that I have with me. And my body has only learned to adapt. And my mind has only learned to shut off while the pain persists. 

But how can I explain a stomach ache to someone who has never had one. Some eyes wide open, they refuse to believe it exists . However some with eyes and ears shut will never will never even try...to see it.

Black is the color that Allah gave me. And black did not come with a prescribed stomach ache. 

And when that first strike triggered the start of this hurt , society ignored it's cause. Instead kept on making the wrong medication although seeing how people would clutch their stomachs in pain. 

And till this day generations are born in the same family business for headache prescription. Sometimes they don't even know why they prescribe. They just see it as fit for the stomachs. 

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other.  When a mother is hurting, the fetus can feel. When there is a natural disaster we all can be damaged. And when there is a fire in a building, when inside...we can all feel the burning. 

When the names are called, when the videos are shown, when the people are hurting... 

You can choose to turn away or call it what you like but

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other. 

This at least should be understood.

NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT FEAR ITSELF

I don't know what boggles me more.. The fact that people feel its ok to hurt other human beings or that when human beings are being hurt the world just stands by to watch.
At this point is it even the fear about the unknown or is it a purely political and a power hungry game?

There are well over a million people in China today who are being held in concentration camps  being tortured and killed.

And I'm sitting here writing this blog in hopes that at least one human being would take notice to what I'm writing and help spread the word.

The Uyghur, kazakhs and many other Muslim minorities in China are being accused of terrorism or not being Chinese or communist enough and are held in captive against their own will. China has revisited jimcrow laws with separating Chinese citizens and Muslim minorities and censoring them with outrageous policies. China has revisited the holocaust by targeting a group of minorities holding them captive, torturing them, and killing them.

Totalitarianism has taken over china and Fear of the unknown has always been a ally to them.
A so called war on terrorism in the world is a great fight to fight if only the world knew what they are fighting. Not understanding what they are fearing is a destruction to innocents.

ISLAM IS NOT TERRORISM AND TERRORISM IS NOT ISLAM.
EDUCATE YOURSELVES PLEASE
ONCE YOU LEARN ABOUT ISLAM FROM THE RIGHT SOURCES, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ....

THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF.
UNDERSTAND AND LEARN ABOUT WHAT YOU FEAR SO YOU WILL NOT FEAR IT

I encourage anyone who is reading this if any.. to please view these videos about whats going on right now and find a way you can help

                                         

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6dBtzllAuK/?igshid=1iixdva756at7&fbclid=IwAR38wdsT5-0KoG7-zkA3BThQUl_RincGtFGG97DzPGhZY3bBQWK_gUSARNU

https://www.saveuighur.org/congress/?gclid=CjwKCAiAo7HwBRBKEiwAvC_Q8T6mjFpJlqfmmil7vWIW9fO27V8ETWpgMmjDj6MXyZu8qihsQCtRQhoCoQAQAvD_BwE