THE BUTTERFLIES AND THEIR KIND

Surah Al Baqarah 2:214-

Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.

2:80

And they say, "Never will the Fire touch us, except for a few days." Say, "Have you taken a covenant with Allah ? For Allah will never break His covenant. Or do you say about Allah that which you do not know?"

Love is the sound of it “love.” The way your tongue   clings to the L at the tip right there. You can feel the raw flesh-to-flesh start of it.  Then the “VVvv”.. that vvibrates sending off a house warming event in your body that wraps up quickly with a sinking status reminder  that you don’t have love….anymore. Or never did have it. Or maybe you do, all wrapped up in it.

Like for me the snow that rolls to form a ball in my throat every time I begin to form words when asked, “what is your love?” Oh Allah! How can my words be enough? As if the wings of those butterflies could describe it in the way that they flicker. No this love does not flutter. Like the wind of those butterflies could describe it.  No that wind is not enough to propel a dry escape from these tears for you oh Allah.

But I’ve seen the crushing of their kind, butterflies so divine. Here they come the drool, the sweaty palms, the inevitable lust at first stare, heart beating rush, nothing else exists. Those teen magazines and cosmopolitans though, they exist. “This” butterfly tells us how we can exist for our infatuation. But how could you worship the stars when they mostly leave you with a bitter horoscope of the next day’s end sometimes without hope? Or is it because they give some sort of next day contact with this hopeless infatuation?

Some were once crushing and crashing barely scratching the surface of love but themselves they were scratching and bruising thinking “this is love”.  Indeed this kind is blind in a field chasing these butterflies and moments creating a delusion illusion of happiness in a forever fantasy hanging on a wall.

The word crush is most of the time a one sided thing like when Tracey Chapman described when  “ you guys were driving, driving in his car. The speed so fast felt like you were drunk. City lights lay out before you and his arm felt nice wrapped ‘round your shoulder

And you, and you had a feeling that you belonged.”

But remember when you told that same infatuation to take that fast car and drive fast away from you when you realized it was over?

Because love again created a house in you with a sinking reminder that you don’t have it or that you didn’t really have it. But unlike crush it came with a reminder that you could have it, for yourself. As it was always there watching you grow up. And it does not flutter.

Something other than love will distract you from everything else while love helps you to interact with everything and anything else. Have you noticed that those who love you the most can love you more than themselves and as love does it carries and isn’t carried. There is no getting without you mostly giving. And those who complain that this love is too much of a construct and conformity must understand that it’s a muscle strain.

So before I strain to spread these breadcrumbs on this beautiful clear day I’d like to give a chance to an attempted Rumi style poem. .

I’d like to sit and think as if the friend is the one spreading these crumbs to these birds who come chirping. Who are straining and sometime dropping and picking these crumbs right back up in a struggle to eat. And yet again I will throw these crumbs a bit further from them to witness their beauty knowing I could of threw it a bit closer. But they are so beautiful and each time they are more beautiful. And as they eat they can witness that there is a friend.  And that friend is not a crush, but love

Surah Al baqarah 2:165-167

And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah . But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah . And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.

[And they should consider that] when those who have been followed disassociate themselves from those who followed [them], and they [all] see the punishment, and cut off from them are the ties [of relationship],

Those who followed will say, "If only we had another turn [at worldly life] so we could disassociate ourselves from them as they have disassociated themselves from us." Thus will Allah show them their deeds as regrets upon them. And they are never to emerge from the Fire.