"$elf truth"

 Can we talk about toxicity of "self truth"? 

It's Soo hyped and has such a slippery pedstestal for delusion and can be as extreme as what got us there in the first place.. or was that even just imagined?

 Is it just a nick name for another groups beliefe thus minimizing the "self" in truth. Or does it scream selfish for times where community can't afford to be selfish? 

I don't know if I believe a truth that already existed centuries before our time classified almost as discovery now. 

Certainly there is already a higher being or bigger subject that has already created your so called discovery .

As of "self discovery", hmm maybe 

 

One of the most hated type of woman on earth is the woman who covers. The woman who chooses to wear the burqah, Niqab or hijab.

Because she chooses to cover her skin and to have a religious opinion she is seen as extreme. Think about that. The very thing women had fought for. A choice.

She is seen as someone who's rights should be taken away by those very nations who say they stand for liberty and justice for all. The very nations who celebrate women history month do not speak up about injustice to these women that is growing and consistently taking place among their ally nations. That then turn into harassment, abuse, violence and the force of imprisonment and concentration camps.

In colonial times to breakdown the home of a society, is to break down and take control of the nation. Our women are the home. What a cowardly move by men.

Ignorance is not bliss. It only breeds fear. It is fear that must be fought. Fear is the enemy , not innocent lives. To understand what you fear is to be stronger so that you do not fear it anymore. I mean like, truly understand.

#womenhistorymonth

BLACK GIRL, SOMETHING FLOWER

It was the same Hollow Eve's night party that I was crowned the best dancer 

and then told that the devil is a black man. 

And although I did not know my own father, I knew that the devil could not be a black man. 

I grew up with "the bluest eye" so vivid in my soul, that I thought I heard someone 

say the same thing I was thinking, 

That I wondered who could of been watching parts of my life and yet didn't save me? 

Because they only gave me, 

Pity

"Yes, I'm cute " pg. 73

So, light skin waves her hands and she says

"let me be the one to hail the cab for you, because they won't stop for you". 

And yes, I too am utterly confused, 

being told and abused 

That I'm not good for you MAN, nor you WO-MAN

unless you were dark than me or as me. 

Because I was naturally born with a message that goes like this,

 surah 64 Aya (verse) 3 

" He has created the heavens and the earth in just proportions, and has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful: and to Him is the final Goal."

"and to Him is the final Goal."

Is the part that I didn't get until after maturity

And so continuing on you see, 

the racist did not first appear after puberty,

but a long while ago with a family 

whose remarks reflected on my self esteem.

It then carried through a classroom filled with children whose lineages were supposed to be 

BLACK , a cousin you could say,  and my best friend and I were the only ones, 

Whose hair was not long enough according to the teacher's given survey.

Yes and so then the South Asians, the Caribbean had their turn before the Eastern 

Europeans  and even before

"The Main One" would say to go be with my own people.

Hello? Didn't she hear the story of where this began? 

And so like a book, racism isn't the only chapter. 

There's also immigration and religion and being female is the first while they all 

followed after. 

You BEAUTIFUL, some sort of a flower you. 

Trampled petals holding on to the strength of your stem. 

If fallen then gently, will they fall.

Bookmarking your page to tell the story of the strange in range to inspire change. 

Because you are the new, the old, the ALWAYS beautiful, you,

Black girl, something flower- you.

LETGO

Today, my arm is stretched solely due to my will through his will. 

Fingers, extend

Releasing, the nothing that was held 

For, so long now, fearing what could of been...

Lost, and it was nothing

What, could of, should of, would of been, afraid of 

Is, the nothing

that would stop me from walking towards my inevitable if my  

inevitable death did not come towards me. 

Because, I am the one stretching my arms towards IT

Fingers, extend

I, fall back in my pool of blood

That, is paint, words and a world 

She, always wanted to live in 

Now, can release in

Breathe in 

And know that 

Arm, is stretched

Fingers, extend

There is nothing amended

Only choices to descend in 

ALI 'IMRAN AYA 154

Then after distress, He sent down serenity in the form of drowsiness overcoming some of you, while others were disturbed by evil thoughts about Allah—the thoughts of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance. They ask, “Do we have a say in the matter?” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “All matters are destined by Allah.” They conceal in their hearts what they do not reveal to you. They say ˹to themselves˺, “If we had any say in the matter, none of us would have come to die here.” Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Even if you were to remain in your homes, those among you who were destined to be killed would have met the same fate.” Through this, Allah tests what is within you and purifies what is in your hearts. And Allah knows best what is ˹hidden˺ in the heart.

AYA 156

O believers! Do not be like the unfaithful1 who say about their brothers who travel throughout the land or engage in battle, “If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed.” Allah makes such thinking a cause of agony in their hearts. It is Allah who gives life and causes death. And Allah is All-Seeing of what you do.

Lonely

I'd like to sit and examine you. I'd like to take you out for lunch, even if we do not speak, as always. 

I know I'm awkward. I'm just not use to us, you know, like this. I just want to to understand... 

So may I confess and say that being misunderstood makes me feel lonely. And lonely, it's gotten to the point where you make me feel lonely. 

You are those cold nights when I can't seem to reach my blanket. In return, insomnia loves you. 

Lonely, you are the prayer that I'm too embarrassed to talk to God about, let alone anyone. Shh don't say a word. 

And my brain has been refusing to have a conversation about you with my heart. Or maybe it just doesn't understand what on earth is going on. As if yesterday, the dinner reserved for 2 , 3, 4 was just a facade, and now we see empty seats. Or maybe that conversation is better avoided.

You know about artist block? Yea that's you, because you've plagued my supplies. So there's no one else to paint about and definitely no one to share with.

You know those nightmares when I'm crying very loud and nobody can hear me? And they just continue walking? Yea, that's also you lonely and I've dreamt of you way too many times.

You've become clock work where I say "Oh, her too, he too.." yes, it's now the expected routine that people get up and walk away. And Unsurprisingly, from a distance standing there, is you lonely.
And yes "me too" even I want to walk away. 

And ok, so I did. And now I'm back and yet you are still 

standing there. I thought this time around when I said your not real, I'd be right..
but there goes "Knock knock, who's there? " Strength, courage, resilience, persistence, creativity and faith." 

Today, I think I'll let them in and they may fill those empty seats.

My Published Books

Find out more and purchase details on madina-jah.com

B L A C K

You can't take Excedrin when you only have a stomach ache. You take peptobismol. However you have a medicine cabinet where all the medication goes(All lives Matter), you just take them out at different times when needed( Black Lives Matter). Now the businesses should not feel bad or guilty if the sales go down for Excedrin just because people are not getting headaches.. perhaps they should care for humanity and formulate more towards stomach aches to create balance. The people with stomach aches should not care for these businesses feeling guilty, because that might not make a real difference and all they just want is to get rid of the damn stomach ache. For people to take real action.

I've had this stomach ache since I was born.

Maybe not the same day, maybe not the same week, maybe not the same year.. but it's been a long time coming. It's been the longest memory that I have with me. And my body has only learned to adapt. And my mind has only learned to shut off while the pain persists. 

But how can I explain a stomach ache to someone who has never had one. Some eyes wide open, they refuse to believe it exists . However some with eyes and ears shut will never will never even try...to see it.

Black is the color that Allah gave me. And black did not come with a prescribed stomach ache. 

And when that first strike triggered the start of this hurt , society ignored it's cause. Instead kept on making the wrong medication although seeing how people would clutch their stomachs in pain. 

And till this day generations are born in the same family business for headache prescription. Sometimes they don't even know why they prescribe. They just see it as fit for the stomachs. 

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other.  When a mother is hurting, the fetus can feel. When there is a natural disaster we all can be damaged. And when there is a fire in a building, when inside...we can all feel the burning. 

When the names are called, when the videos are shown, when the people are hurting... 

You can choose to turn away or call it what you like but

Anatomy is a gift we have and share in common with each other. 

This at least should be understood.

NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT FEAR ITSELF

I don't know what boggles me more.. The fact that people feel its ok to hurt other human beings or that when human beings are being hurt the world just stands by to watch.
At this point is it even the fear about the unknown or is it a purely political and a power hungry game?

There are well over a million people in China today who are being held in concentration camps  being tortured and killed.

And I'm sitting here writing this blog in hopes that at least one human being would take notice to what I'm writing and help spread the word.

The Uyghur, kazakhs and many other Muslim minorities in China are being accused of terrorism or not being Chinese or communist enough and are held in captive against their own will. China has revisited jimcrow laws with separating Chinese citizens and Muslim minorities and censoring them with outrageous policies. China has revisited the holocaust by targeting a group of minorities holding them captive, torturing them, and killing them.

Totalitarianism has taken over china and Fear of the unknown has always been a ally to them.
A so called war on terrorism in the world is a great fight to fight if only the world knew what they are fighting. Not understanding what they are fearing is a destruction to innocents.

ISLAM IS NOT TERRORISM AND TERRORISM IS NOT ISLAM.
EDUCATE YOURSELVES PLEASE
ONCE YOU LEARN ABOUT ISLAM FROM THE RIGHT SOURCES, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ....

THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF.
UNDERSTAND AND LEARN ABOUT WHAT YOU FEAR SO YOU WILL NOT FEAR IT

I encourage anyone who is reading this if any.. to please view these videos about whats going on right now and find a way you can help

                                         

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6dBtzllAuK/?igshid=1iixdva756at7&fbclid=IwAR38wdsT5-0KoG7-zkA3BThQUl_RincGtFGG97DzPGhZY3bBQWK_gUSARNU

https://www.saveuighur.org/congress/?gclid=CjwKCAiAo7HwBRBKEiwAvC_Q8T6mjFpJlqfmmil7vWIW9fO27V8ETWpgMmjDj6MXyZu8qihsQCtRQhoCoQAQAvD_BwE

STRIVE

When the angel of death arrives to take our souls to above,

Gravity will then pronounce its own name. 

For if we have sewn our hearts to the earth, 

It is then earth that will declare its claim. 

So let us fight our gravity that pulls us everyday. 

Because when the angel of death arrives to take our souls, 

Easy would it be to rise above. 

And no more will there be chance to fall hard.

This is when strive

Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along a path.”

Ibn Umar would say, “If you make it to the evening, do not wait for the morning. If you make it to the morning, do not wait for the evening. Take from your health for your sickness, and from your life for your death.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6053

RECLAIM YOUR HEART BY YASMIN MOGAHED...5 STARS!!

When they hurt you, leave you, do not love you, when you're not happy...

Relationships are important with people because they are Allah given. However there is only one relationship that will be more beneficial to you than any other.That is your relationship with Allah(Absolute God, Omnipotent).

Three very important questions that can save you in these moment to moments...

You ask how is your relationship with Allah?
And to ask how is your relationship with Allah, you have to ask have you given Allah all of his power? If you don't know the answer then you have to ask what is Allah's power? And if you do know the answer and say yes then still  ask again,what is Allah's power?

THE BEST ARTIST

A great artist, is a artist that gives all the credit to the best Artist..to our creator Allah, the absolute and omnipotent God
Lord of you and I..Lord of

Adam or Aadam
Nuh (Noah)
Hud
Saleh
Ibrahim (Abraham)
Isma'il (Ishmael)
Ishaq (Isaac)
Lut (Lot)
Ya'qub (Jacob),
Yousef (Joseph)
Shu'aib
Ayyub (Job)
Musa (Moses)
Harun (Aaron)
Dhu'l-kifl (Ezekiel)
Dawud (David)
Sulaiman (Solomon)
Ilias (Elias or Elijah)
Al-Yasa (Elisha)
Yunus (Jonah)
Zakariyya (Zechariah)
Yahya (John the Baptist)
'Isa (Jesus)
Muhammad

All the phrophets and Messengers may peace and blessings be upon them

Hijab & Me

Great episode. A great way of showing all sides to the equation that most people do not understand in the world. I do want to add though that when the hijab was told to be a covering for the women apx 1400 years ago... Issues in the time compared to today's issues are very similar. People back then we're not only killed for looking Muslim but also declaring they are Muslim. Infact it was alot more dangerous back then than now enough so, that the prophet exiled to the city of Medina with the majority of the muslims. They were fights braking out due to harrassment of jilbab covered cloked covered women in the streets as well as uncovered. Women have always been harrassed since early history and it has not stopped today. You might not feel the need and question the reason to cover up but maybe you haven't experienced the many experiences of sexual harrassment that is going on today. And thank Allah.. but you also want to ask your self what role are you playing in the stance for women? Islam has always been about community. We as humans beings are never only working on an individual level. Especially us women. There is always a cause and effect.

Therapy

What do you do when you can't afford therapy?And your hair is falling out and the customers are screaming and nagging and scratching and no this is not the pet cat you always wanted and the sun is too bright at night and the past is never the past and the past is never the past and the past is never the past and you think this is it the neverous breakdown and no the breathing doesn't work and the doctor says take it slow and you say show me show me slow and  maybe you're just complaining but this modern society says you're not and even your community finally says you're not and your pockets say just forget it and you say just one more day I'll make it through and no rest for the little things that get you back to square one again and you keep wandering what will it be like when life is over and you keep wandering what it will be like when life is over and what do you do when you can't afford therapy and someone from the back yells pray! And no , no don't get me wrong I've never forgotten Allah and don't get me wrong I always pray and what do you do when you can't afford therapy? I write...this

THE AYA IN OUR ART

"Everything in the human experience is an Aya. The Quran doesn't say the montain is an Aya. The Quran says inside the mountain is an Aya. To get to the valuable, you have to dig inside. You have to open it up. You have to see what's behind it. Nowadays you have an app. The app is awesome but behind the app there's some amazing source code. Allah does not want you to just see the app. He wants you to see the source code. So look at this. When muslims made art, if you look at the Islamic art all over the world, there's one common thread. We make things symmetrical. Geometric patterns, perfect curves here, perfect curves there. Even our calligraphy is very symmetrical and mathematical like order. You know why that is? Art is suppose to be an expression of what human beings experience. For a believer they see a mountain, and a bird and tree.. they see order and perfection behind it. They see a system that Allah put in place. Everything has a purpose. So their art was always symmetrical, mathematical. Compare this to European art from a couple of centuries ago. They see a mountain, they paint a mountain. They see a bird and they paint a  bird. A barn , a horse, a lady sticking something. They see reality for what it is. We saw reality for what the source code behind it is. And it even manifests in our art. And by the way what happened to modern art? Europeans saw reality for what it is. And that reality to them has no source code. There's nothing behind it. And when there's nothing behind it , it starts looking uglier. Their art necessarily started getting uglier. And so they would paint pictures of people with eyes over here and the lips over here. They say "this us how I see reality" abstract art, expressionalism and then there after

 " I don't see any purpose." So then what happens, you'd go to a post modern art gallery and you'll see a canvas and there's nothing on it! And the guy's like "this is how I feel about the universe"... You're right there's nothingness." 

Nauman Ali Khan surah Al baqarah tafseer part 59

From how I see and studied art, I agree to a degree. I agree that they searched for meaning behind what they were seeing and to some they ended up with nothing. But I wouldn't necessarily say it got uglier unless the "uglier" that is being talked about is not the typical beauty. And also unless the ugly became the intent. But also the amazing part is that even arriving at nothing is an Aya. And even that Aya in it's inevitable nature leads people to truth because everything naturally leads to our inate nature towards truth. You can say that's the tricky part. Whether it began negative or positive this nothingness always acts as a sling shot. I would even say, even if illustrating nothingness was the start of it, behind that nothingness is still a source code. 

THE NEW REBEL G.K. Chesterton

     Surah baqarah 2:129

Our Lord, and send among them a messenger from themselves who will recite to them Your verses and teach them the Book and wisdom and purify them. Indeed, You are the Exalted in Might, the Wise

        But the new rebel is a skeptic, and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind; and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it. . . . As a politician, he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then, as a philosopher, that all life is waste of time. A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself. . . . The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts; then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting, where he proves that they practically are beasts. In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always engaged in undermining his own mines. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality; in his book on ethics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything.

G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

WHY I DO NOT DRAW HUMAN BEINGS, THE INTERVIEW IN MY HEAD

I’d like to start off with a passionate speech..Lights off, power point on, indent paragraph starts here…

 About a young girl who had a dream. Who had nothing but then something. But instead lets turn the lights on and clear the screen. I’d like to instead just say “I just don’t draw human beings because God told me not to.”

Because this speech might be authentic but along the way it could be caressing a lot of rare ends just for an understanding.

Real raw truth tends to blurr to a juice down version of itself every time one of these speeches happen.

Who we are is Muslim. And there is no need to hide or be ashamed. Muslim is not a bad thing. And it shouldn’t be a bad thing according to the person who only sees it on TV. It shouldn’t be a bad thing according to the person who grew up with it and is ashamed of it because they have no other way of explaining, “Why we should not draw human beings.” Or the like the many other whys they find difficult to explain.

In it is a strength, discipline and education that could nourish the world. And just like the gentle giant in your once told bedtime story it could be your lullaby to a good sleep.

And if asked in this interview in my head What I’d like to say? .. I’d say that I’d like to spread this education to those who do not know and be the opportunity to those who deserve to be proud of who they are. And we are a people who can also flourish and enjoy who we are without it being impossible. P.s especially for the women folk xoxxo.

Just because we play a little differently does not mean that we cannot play the game.

And let me just add, with all of this said there are examples to the “why I don’t draw human beings.”

To us Allah is the creator of everything and has no partner in creating. He is Allah, the one and only. The eternal, absolute. He begetteth not, nor is begotten. And there is none like unto him.

But lets note art. From the Egyptians trying to outlive life  to scenery painting, to the renaissance of humanism, to Picasso quoting “God is just another painter like me.”

Lets note billboards where a most of the time racist or stereo typing world puts a picture up of a so called perfect human being that demands people to exemplify. And lets also note all that results there after ego…

And in one example of many, in this Islamic story called hadith "thereafter ego" and misguidance can go like this…

 Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The idols of the people of Nooh were known among the Arabs later on. Wadd belonged to (the tribe of) Kalb in Dawmat al-Jandal. Suwaa’ belonged to Hudhayl. Yaghooth belonged to Muraad, then to Bani Ghutayf in al-Jawf, near Sabaa’. Ya’ooq belonged to Hamadaan. Nasar belonged to Humayr of Aal Dhi’l-Kalaa’. These were names of righteous men from the people of Nooh. When they died, the Shaytaan(Satan) inspired their people to set up idols in the places where they had used to sit, and to call those idols by their names. They did that but they did not worship them, but after those people died and knowledge had been forgotten, then they started to worship them. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4636).

So idols can not exist in the realm of Islam and the being of a soul is not to be replicated and cannot be replicated because unlike Picasso,

“God is way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way  way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way  way way way way way way way way

more than just another painter like me.”

THE BUTTERFLIES AND THEIR KIND

Surah Al Baqarah 2:214-

Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.

2:80

And they say, "Never will the Fire touch us, except for a few days." Say, "Have you taken a covenant with Allah ? For Allah will never break His covenant. Or do you say about Allah that which you do not know?"

Love is the sound of it “love.” The way your tongue   clings to the L at the tip right there. You can feel the raw flesh-to-flesh start of it.  Then the “VVvv”.. that vvibrates sending off a house warming event in your body that wraps up quickly with a sinking status reminder  that you don’t have love….anymore. Or never did have it. Or maybe you do, all wrapped up in it.

Like for me the snow that rolls to form a ball in my throat every time I begin to form words when asked, “what is your love?” Oh Allah! How can my words be enough? As if the wings of those butterflies could describe it in the way that they flicker. No this love does not flutter. Like the wind of those butterflies could describe it.  No that wind is not enough to propel a dry escape from these tears for you oh Allah.

But I’ve seen the crushing of their kind, butterflies so divine. Here they come the drool, the sweaty palms, the inevitable lust at first stare, heart beating rush, nothing else exists. Those teen magazines and cosmopolitans though, they exist. “This” butterfly tells us how we can exist for our infatuation. But how could you worship the stars when they mostly leave you with a bitter horoscope of the next day’s end sometimes without hope? Or is it because they give some sort of next day contact with this hopeless infatuation?

Some were once crushing and crashing barely scratching the surface of love but themselves they were scratching and bruising thinking “this is love”.  Indeed this kind is blind in a field chasing these butterflies and moments creating a delusion illusion of happiness in a forever fantasy hanging on a wall.

The word crush is most of the time a one sided thing like when Tracey Chapman described when  “ you guys were driving, driving in his car. The speed so fast felt like you were drunk. City lights lay out before you and his arm felt nice wrapped ‘round your shoulder

And you, and you had a feeling that you belonged.”

But remember when you told that same infatuation to take that fast car and drive fast away from you when you realized it was over?

Because love again created a house in you with a sinking reminder that you don’t have it or that you didn’t really have it. But unlike crush it came with a reminder that you could have it, for yourself. As it was always there watching you grow up. And it does not flutter.

Something other than love will distract you from everything else while love helps you to interact with everything and anything else. Have you noticed that those who love you the most can love you more than themselves and as love does it carries and isn’t carried. There is no getting without you mostly giving. And those who complain that this love is too much of a construct and conformity must understand that it’s a muscle strain.

So before I strain to spread these breadcrumbs on this beautiful clear day I’d like to give a chance to an attempted Rumi style poem. .

I’d like to sit and think as if the friend is the one spreading these crumbs to these birds who come chirping. Who are straining and sometime dropping and picking these crumbs right back up in a struggle to eat. And yet again I will throw these crumbs a bit further from them to witness their beauty knowing I could of threw it a bit closer. But they are so beautiful and each time they are more beautiful. And as they eat they can witness that there is a friend.  And that friend is not a crush, but love

Surah Al baqarah 2:165-167

And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah . But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah . And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.

[And they should consider that] when those who have been followed disassociate themselves from those who followed [them], and they [all] see the punishment, and cut off from them are the ties [of relationship],

Those who followed will say, "If only we had another turn [at worldly life] so we could disassociate ourselves from them as they have disassociated themselves from us." Thus will Allah show them their deeds as regrets upon them. And they are never to emerge from the Fire.

BARE WITNESS THAT THERE IS NO MISTAKE

When did you realize there was a mistake? Was it when you breathed enough breaths in this world? The breaths that harbored and fertilized your premature to mature lungs before you then labeled them a mistake?

Try counting the lines on each of your hand and see how they praise your creator while you do not. In it are his 99 names and you have failed to mention not even 1.  

Your eyes, could they have been put in a different place other than where they are now? For surely bare witness that there is no mistake.

Only someone who loves you could of designed you in perfect sustenance like this. Surely it was love that gave you these opportunities to experience what it means to be alive and to even have a choice to declare a mistake.

And you could argue that your experience had defeated you or made you choose a decision that declares a mistake. That makes you not want to be alive. But you then fail to tell me the expiration date. Your expiration date. When you can then say it’s over.

Because the truth is that it’s not over and you do not know what else you can receive. But not all receiving will come without thanks. And you’re declaring a mistake while life will continue in its regard with or without you. Just like its been continuing in its regard for a very long time without you.

What would happen if the mountains declare themselves a mistake? What will happen if the sun decides not to rise?

Willingly they came together before a big bang and imagine if they didn’t.. Or if the air that you have been breathing denies to enter your body anymore. Or if your body parts declare different actions than what your brain is telling them to do?

Surely they know they are no mistakes, so how could you then know that you are?

Please bare witness that there is no mistake.

COLOR CODED MESS

I’m so tired of this color-coded mess, distress, unrest is at its best when at a day’s end its always followed by a failed test. When at a day’s end here it goes again this color coded mess followed by a silent “hmph…. would you look at that again.” Then the pull of the left side comes again to the mouth returning with a bitter grin that always says  “ I told you so.”

And yet it’s still as if I got smacked right in the face and yet it’s still as surprising.

Could you believe it? It’s always delivered as a package at my front door and now it even fits well in a lyric of a song. And now it even fits well in a conversation on the next seat in he train!

It’s a wonder and it’s a pain. Yes, you could call it a painful wonderment how there are no loose ends to the effects of my cause. It really is color-coded and its scientific structure is as if it is a complicated knot that becomes untangled into a simple line. And it’s that easy huh? And sometimes I wonder if I were to do the same to the tubes of my brain if I would also then get a simple line..

But that’s like saying because of how simple this line looks I could of prevented it myself. I could have predicted these lessons myself. And in fact I did, in fact I do. It’s the burden of the spirit especially if it’s a very conscious and receptive one.

One could say this color code mess could of been prevented and turned into a color coded success. But never the less never fail to mention that we're only still human.

So it hurts to know this before you even said anything. And it hurts to preach minimalism but then the doorbell rings and it is yet another package. I’m running out of space and the lease is almost up. Sitting there, a load to bear because there is no existence for another lease and there is no existence of money for storage.

So it hurts, as the memories keep jogging this marathon and they keep following this twisted knot that is my brain with no simple line to exist. And it hurts when they turn into physical pain and it all doesn’t go away, GO ALL AWAY, please all, go away..

So the only release I get like an icepack on a wound. Like a nap in an air-conditioned room after a long hot run. Like a trip into the living room after a sweaty hot then cold chill sweat nightmare is to know that inside of all of this…inside this package I often  forget there is always a note to self. And as I take this note out to read I begin to feel the calm again.

It says “ Astaghfirullah” …”I seek forgiveness in Allah”